alibenetti

Believers are divine

2009-12-27T18:56:50Z

John 3-5:

Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. We love each other because he loved us first. Since he loved us enough to give up his life for us, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But, if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression. It is brought to a chain reaction. If someone says, "I love God," but hates a brother or sister, that person is a liar, for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God for whom we can't?

You don't become a man by power,
you become a man by the ability to control that power.

"If a woman can follow God than a man can follow a woman. Grow up if you choose to follow a man's ego over a Christian woman. Stop looking at gender and start looking at heart."-Mike Donahue

What a man desires is unfailing love.

4:6 Our Baggage pollutes our heart and brings us to a crossroad of choice. We must not worry about anything but instead pray for everything for his word is a lamp to guide our feet and a light for our path. Just like our physical body needs water to survive, our spiritual body needs prayer. So, why does failure lead so many people to get off the mountain instead of just starting again? We must always remember that there are big problems but always a bigger God.

A HUNGRY NEED IS A DANGEROUS NEED.

Ephesians 4:26

"Do not use your anger for revenge. Don't let your anger to lead you to sin since
sin is only pleasurable for a short season. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed
angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Love from the center
of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good."

Romans 12:

Bless your enemies. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who
are happy; weep with those who weep. Discover beauty in everyone. Do everything you can
to get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; THAT'S NOT FOR YOU TO DO."

Philippians 3:12-14:

"I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me.
So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that
I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I strain for what is ahead. I run
toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven."

Christ helps us avoid the world's corruptions and human desires.

Rom. 10:9-13:

Say the welcoming word to God-"Jesus is my master"-embracing, body and soul, God's work of doing in us what he did in raising Jesus from the dead. That's it. You're not "doing" anything; you're simply calling out to God, trusting him to do it for you. That's salvation. With your whole being you embrace God setting things right, and then you say it, right out loud: "God has set everything right between him and I!" No one who trusts God like this- heart and soul -will ever regret it. Everyone who calls, 'Help, God!' gets help."

People don't care how much you know
until they know how much you care.

Psalm 80:

We took root and filled the land.

Our shade covered the mountains;

Our branches covered the mighty cedars.

We spread our branches west to the Mediterranean Sea;

Our shoots spread east to the Euphrates River.

But now, why have you broken down our walls,

so that all who pass by may steal our fruit?

The wild animals will feed on it and devour it.

Just come back we beg you.

Take care of this grapevine,

that you yourself have planted,

this son you have raised for yourself.

Strengthen the man you love,

the son of your choice.

Then we will never abandon you again.

Make your face shine down upon us.

Only then will we be saved.

Timothy 4:3:

Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently, correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching because a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don't be ashamed of me, either, even though I am in prison for him. With strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. Christ was never ashamed of me because I was in chains.

2 Timothy 2:8-13:

The word of God cannot be chained. So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring
salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen. Remind every one
of this trustworthy saying:

If we die with him,
we will also live with him.
If we endure hardship,
We will reign with him.
If we deny him,
he will deny us.
If we are unfaithful,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is.

"Command anyone in God's presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them. Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Avoid, worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. Don't get involved, instead be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. This kind of talk spreads like cancer. They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occured; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith. But God's truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: "The lord knows those who are his."

art = change

2009-09-12T12:49:19Z

The name is Alexandra Leigh Benetti but please lets keep it short simply by leaving it as Ali B. I am a graduate from Celebration High School and attending VCC this year. I haven't fully decided what I want my occupation to truly be as an adult but I do know I want it to reflect on my two passions: art, and helping others. I know writing art is very vague, and that is exactly why I wrote it. I have no idea on what form of art my heart wants my life to dictate towards. I love to paint and draw, I am pretty decent at it too. However, I love to write, I love music, I love dancing, I love acting, I love photography, I just overall love art. It's the only thing that makes sense in my eyes. Maybe because art doesn't have to. Maybe because it breaks all boundaries of possibilities for the average thought in the average man. Maybe because it doesn't argue back when you choose to transform through its non existent expectations. & maybe it's because it can create change and movement in people's lives. I want to make a difference. I think everyone secretly does even more than what their flaws allow them to. And I fully believe using art we really can because in reality, everything is art. Define art. The beginning of a new season, a widow dying from a broken heart, a charity waking at the crack of daylight to help their community, God creating choice, a gentleman giving his seat on a busy subway, it's all art. If we were able to change our needs and our focus, I think humanity would be able to start seeing and appreciating the beauty and movement our planet and its little forms of art keeps creating.

Broken Down

2009-02-14T11:40:42Z

As I reflect on the years of my youth, I have memories that can be identified as both reputable yet insignificant. I have flaws in my life I was brought into when I escaped my mother's womb and became one with this dirt of a thing we call home. Our government created my label, my identity by documents and biological stand points. They created my existence the moment I became a being, inhaling and exhaling with a heart beating independently and a stomach being fed by the nutrients I put in my mouth over what my mother placed in hers. I was immediately set to the people's standards and leading down the average path for the average man. I was taught right from wrong, black and white, good and bad; freedom and captivity. This curriculum never gave me the opportunity in understanding why the bad was bad or why the good was good. I was setting myself up into becoming some duplicate of everyone else and I felt as though it wasn't an option, I had no other choice. Life at this point didn't feel like a gift of freedom. Instead, a gift of solitary confinement polluting any form of individuality I encountered in myself. It was empty but like I said, I thought it was mandatory.

Coming from a broken home, I was programmed to believe that was normal. Never having a relationship with my father or living through the speculations of my fellow classmates led me to the gift of confusion. Even though I did the so called right thing, doesn't mean the situation I was brought into was right. It took me a long time to realize that sometimes bad things happen to good people and no one can justify why. Overtime, I started to analyze the choices I made really didn't reflect the outcome of how I felt or the improvements in my life. I thought being good was pointless. Nothing was changing and I was sick of it. I decided to blame God for the unnecessary and began doing things my way. I started turning to friends, boyfriends; other distractions to dictate where my happiness lied. I was desperate for intimacy, I wanted to be loved. I wanted materialistic items and relationships to replace this lost soul I had and set it to rest. I became impatient and rushed everything people spend their lifetime living and experiencing. I wanted to fall in love, so I looked for it rather than allowed it to simply happen to me. I convinced myself I was avoiding my problems, only to find out every distraction was feeding every dilemma. Loneliness is God's cry out for intimacy, and yet I chose to walk alone.

I have done a lot of things, but I do not define any of them as bad things. God put each quality in my life because each step led me to him. I had to go through the bad to bring up the good. In perspective, he wasn't at fault for any of the wrongs but instead the complete opposite. Sin exists because man chose to follow Satan, listening to the selfish urge we allow to get the best of us. One of my favorite lines in one of my favorite books (Blue Like Jazz) is: when you hear that voice in our inner ear we are losers, we are failures and we will never amount to anything, this is not the voice of God. This is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not love her. I am guilty of this. I let myself believe I wasn't worth what I can amount to. I am a nobody, that's all society thinks of me which equals my personal view on the capability in myself. I wasn't flesh, I was just a number lost in this foundation of tallies this country relies on and let me tell you, nothing added up. I thought I was fatherless only to realize God was always my father, my best friend. I grew a relationship with him as if he was a living breathing person just like you and I. He is alive just in a different form and I never gave him the opportunity in proving that to me. I didn't meet him half way because I didn't think there was anything to meet. Since birth I had to adapt and fluctuate to the problems sadly most children go through, even today. We automatically think through our instincts this so called life is as good as it'll ever get. We live and die in complete apathetic behavior. We were to busy wallowing in self pity for all of the wrongs in our lives. We didn't understand that it was okay to be thankful instead. We didn't appreciate, we didn't love.

What man desires is unfailing love. I didn't know that even existed, and yet, that's the definition of Jesus Christ. He died for our sins and still unconditionally loved us through it all. It broke me into beautiful, that idea of him never doubting his love for any of us. Every single second of every single day, he simply loves. If the brains of the utmost realists were able to adjust their state of minds into loving over lecturing, our reality and idea of normal would completely contrast the views on our generation's normal today. I know the world is not satisfied. I know they are feeling that same hollow insignificance the way I once felt. We allow our pride to reflect our actions. We never take the time to walk in other's shoes on their worst day, and that needs to change. Before you can help change others however, you need to change yourself and step by step through out my progression, I can say I finally am coming to the understanding of it and now, I have never felt so alive.

Inspire

2009-02-05T23:54:47Z

Old men will dream dreams,
and young men will see visions.

"You've become so real to me as I let this ego fall. Standing here, wanting you all for I know your love has stained the inner core of my being. let me see what you see. Let me feel what you feel so I can change the hurting and bring your love to full expression."

"Is it me at fault for this to die

For wanting more for you and I to fly

Solo in this dim horizon

This damp and humid night

You deserve the blue skies baby

You deserve the morning light."

"I ask for guidance, I pray for teachings but I never know what it is I am supposed to do, say, anything and it breaks my heart knowing I have become so desperate to be happy again. I wish God was able to attract the right path I am supposed to take and magnetize my feet to it. So, no matter how much I may doubt it or second guess myself, I'll know it's what's right because it's what he wants."

God never designed us to look behind. When the Bible talks about 'The Armor Of God', it mentions a breast plate, a shield, etc. but never mentions anything protecting our backs because we were never meant to turn around. We're supposed to always be looking forward, towards the future God has. Looking back hinders us, makes us useless to our purpose. So even through the challenges we may face and the things we try and fail at letting go of because we allow fear to get the best of us, it is key to keep going and keep trying till one of those tries, becomes a success.

"Heal the broken heart
Help create a new start
for you have the gift to replace
& you are the gift us sinners live to chase."

There's so much love
clenched within our fists.

(Hate is Love heading in the wrong direction.)

Proverbs 16:32

He who is slow to anger is better than the powerful.
And he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city.

I want to meet the liars, the heart breakers, the fools. I want to meet the procrastinators, the jealous & judgmental, the angry, the hurt. I want to meet the stubborn, the unforgiving, the cheaters.

I want to meet the ones in hiding, the ones in fear. I want to meet the followers, the betrayers, the betrayed. I want to meet the complainers, the fraud. These are the ones hurting most.

I want to spread God's love to the ones in need for desperate intimacy, salvation. For I know this unsatisfying state of mind cannot be condemned unless they have a solid platform to fall back on and that platform is up to believers like me. It is up to the ones that have already heard the good news, the ones that have been saved.

Ones who purposely sin aren't on top. The happy, satisfied and complete are. I want to change the empty figures in this world and help them see the beginnings of a better tomorrow.

Hurt people, hurt people and I want to do something about it.

Someone who has questions
& is not afraid to ask them.

Every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity & authority, and starts to face himself.

Proverbs 23:7
For as a man thinks in his heart so is he.

All I needed was a little guidance, a little push to know that I'd be ok. I didn't need you on my sunny day. I need you now in the pouring rain. So please change the seasons. Give me better weather. Show me your reasons why you created man to stand on two feet over the gift to fly and rise in your name. Why must we sink in our shadows of shame? I don't have answers, I have doubt. But here I am, laying it out. This is as fast as I can go. Please take me, don't leave me. I am here to follow. For you are my cure dear love of mine. You are the God I longed to find.

Will We Be In Ashes
Before We Are One?

The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this:

Life is a story about me.

No drug is so powerful as the drug of self. No rut in the mind is so deep as the one that says I am the world, the world belongs to me, all of the people are characters in my play. There is no addiction so powerful as self-addiction.

Be the beauty in His grace.

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs
doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.”

Player of the Year

I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.

God risked himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And
together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and
only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us.

Scenes of you come rushing through,
you are breaking me down.
So break me into pieces,
that will grow in the ground.
I know that I deserve to die,
for the murder in my heart.
So be gentle with me Jesus,
as you tear me apart.

Please kill the liar.
Kill the thief in me.
You know that I am tired of their cruelty.
Breathe into my spirit.
Breathe into my veins,
until only love remains.

You burn away the ropes that bind,
and hold me to the earth.
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth.
I begin to see reality,
for the first time in my life.
I know that I’m a shadow,
but I’m dancing in your light.

OPEN
YOUR
EYES

Evaluate what you choose to see.

Dear Love,

2009-01-03T21:44:51Z

     What great gravity is this that drew my soul toward yours? What great force, that though I went falsely, went kicking, went disguising myself to earn your love, also disguised, to earn your keeping, your resting, your staying, your will fleshed into mine, rasped by a slowly revealed truth, the barter of my soul, the soul that I fear, the soul that I loathe, the soul that: If you love, I will love. I will redeem you, if you redeem me? Is this our purpose, you and I together to pacify each other, to lead each other toward the lie that we are good, that we are noble, that we need not redemption, save the one that you and I invented of our own clay?

     I am not scared of you, my love, I am scared of me. You see, love, I did not love you, I loved me. And you were only a tool that I used to fix myself, to fool myself, to redeem myself. And though I have taught you to lay your lily hand in mine, I walk alone.

     I want desperately for you to be my friend. But you are not my friend; you have slid up warmly to the man I wanted to be, the man I pretended to be, and I was your Jesus and, you were mine. Should I show you who I am, we may crumble. I am not scared of you my love, I am scared of me.

     I want to be known and loved anyway. Can you do this? I trust you by your easy breathing that you are human like me, that you are fallen like me, that you are lonely, like me. My love, do I know you? What is this great gravity that pulls us so painfully toward each other? Why do we not connect? Will we be forever fleshing this out? And how will we with words, narrow words, come into the knowing of each other? Is this God's way of meriting grace, of teaching us of the labyrinth of His love for us, teaching us, in degrees, that which he is sacrificing to join ourselves to Him? Or better yet, has He formed our being fractional so that we might conclude one great hope, plodding and sighing and breathing into one another in such a great push that we might break through into the known and being loved, only to cave into a greater perdiction and fall down at his throne still begging for our acceptance? Begging for our completion?

     We were fools to believe we would redeem each other. I walk you through the garden, to counsel your timid steps, your bewildered eye, your heart so slow to love, so careful to love, so sheepish that I stepped up my aim and became a man. Is this what God intended? That though He made you from my rib, it is you who is making me, humbling me, destroying me and in so doing revealing me.

     Will we be in ashes before we are one?

     What great gravity is this that drew my heart towards yours? What great force collapsed my orbit, my lonesome state? What is this that wants in me the want in you? Don't we go at each other with yielded eyes, with cumbered hands and feet, with clunky tongues? This deed is unattainable! We cannot know each other!

     I am quitting this thing, but not what you think. I am not going away.

     I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may bring me.

    I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. Iam giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.

     God risked himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us.

Tone Scale In Full

2008-12-07T13:48:55Z

I am thankful for

2008-12-05T01:30:18Z

1. God - For being the Father of all creation
2. My Story - For bringing me to the state of who I am today and the message I can spread to people
3. Every member in my Family - For putting me through good and bad, really teaching me right from wrong, for loving me in different ways
4. Valerie Dalesky - For being my friend when no one else was
5. Talent - To help inspire me to try new things and what I enjoy and dislike, what made me different then any one else
6. Youth Group - For bringing God into my life
7. Books - For teaching me, breaking me into beautiful
8. Celebration - I take the bad with the good because in the end, it is what I call home
9. Wisconsin - My true roots
10. Bencriscutto - My blood
11. Ashley Henley, Victoria Triece, Jillian Giles, Rebecca Flores, Shannah Kennedy, Ashlee Hawk, Kristina Motti, Cristina Sans, Liz Jones, Esther Lamarche, Lyn Bohyn, Molly Taylor, Ashley Jarazombek, Rachel Parsons, Nikki Henning, Natalia Van Bilderbeak, Kaylin Yost, Logan Yost, Madeline Mentrie, Madison Balentine, Laura Johnson, Katie Stone, Janisha Patel, Alexa Samyon, Alyssa Young, Megan Yelvington, Marissa Melillo and the other girls I have grown up with - For being there for me through all of the smiles, tears and arguments I went through growing up
12. Memories - to remind you of the facts needed in your story
13. Masters Commission - For reassuring me even more that my passion for helping others is right
14. Andrew Lackey - For giving God a chance, for being a romodel in my eyes
15. Ant Improgo, Andrew Mc Intosh, Kevin Gaspar, Christian Dinh, Alex Shaw, Collin Tennant, David Mceeman, Sebastian Gonzalez, Alex Bras, Matt Albino, Kyle Weaver, Austin Atchoo, Mel Martinez, Josh Shakelford, Mel Martinez, Donny Smiley, Alex Yost, Jay Shah, Shrineel Patel, Addison Maples, Leondro Duarte, Jacob Perez, Zane Baker, Ryan DePietto, Erik Cloutier, Brandon Beattie, Ryan McNally, George Dirling, Tom Crowell, David Johnson, James Mancuso, Anthony Mondello, and other guys I grew up with - For impacting my life one way or another
16. Adam DePietto - Your rejection was God's protection
17. Holidays - To remind people of the gift in Celebration, the gift of life
18. Sports - Allowed me to stay active and put my mind into something positive
19. The gift of creativity - Art, Song, Dance I love it all and I believe it is my true passion in life
20. Individuality - to be who I am, to define originality
21. A Future - To allow myself the gift of hope and push forward when things go bad
22. The gift of Choice - "For as a man thinks in his heart so is he." Proverbs 23:7

Puzzle pieces

2008-12-03T22:50:08Z

I don't know if this better life is the right life for me. Maybe my time here on this Earth is supposed to be spent staying in the difficult points which will end up eventually leading to a break through. Maybe I am supposed to not be so selfish or worry about myself all of the time and instead, allow God to use my caring heart and sensitive soul to move mountains in people's lives. The ones hurting are not on top. The one's happy, strong; complete are. Maybe it's my job to stay below so I can help push up those that have never seen the light above all of their dark and colder weather wandering above them. But then again, maybe God wants me to do something for me for a change and I am getting cold feet because I am not use to it. Maybe I am doubting this plan and that's wrong on my part if it is the plan God has for me. It goes exactly with my quote I wrote many months ago from the same, incomplete feeling I wake up every morning to. "I wish God could attract the right path I am supposed to take and magnetize me feet to it, so no matter how much I may doubt it or second guess myself, I will know it is what's right because it's what he wants." I hate this loss of self perseverance. I worry about what God wants 24.7 and I am scared I am letting him down if I take the bottom road, the one that doesn't give me the beautiful jewels or the handsome guy or just the overall perfect fame. It's the package most people spend forever wanting, forever searching for. I always realized in my life, the man made items, the accessories never truly completed me. My heart has always lead me to becoming a nurturer. A mother for the ones that need someone most. I was always satisfied by really making a positive impact in a person's life. I always felt complete knowing I made a change.
People have told me I am wise and I am great with words. They say I do have a way in explaining things much more differently then others by using the perfect analogies only they would understand. They have said I should write a book, but I want to do more then that. I want to truly get out there and take action face to face. People have never been true idealists, they always had this See it to Believe it state of mind, I get that. Which is more of a reason why I think my calling is to do more then just use a paper and pen to express the wonders I want to do in people. Even I can be unhappy, I have been many many times, but I know God puts that sickening gut feeling there so you can truly do something about it. No one likes that emotion, that saddening pull it has, its effectiveness. But, I feel like it is there so God forces you to do something different, to take a new path, to make a change.

I remember I was talking to an old friend the other day, and she was completely devastated by how a boy she was with out a doubt in love with, did not want her back at the time. He was caught up in the gift of music and friends. He was distracted into believing it all overpowered what she had to offer, love. I remember it so well. She went on about how he was the one, that he completed her. People today truly have the wrong impression on what love really is. Your heart still beats when the expression is said that it breaks. You still wake up every morning and function through your day even though you say your world has shattered. But, I feel the biggest impression on love people take on it, is that someone else completes you. No one completes you, you complete yourself. You are a whole, one individual is a whole. My analogy for this friend when she came to me was to imagine yourself as a puzzle piece. If your own personal puzzle piece isn't complete, if you personally haven't completely found yourself and who you truly are in God, if you still don't understand the capabilities and big dreams you personally have, if you aren't content with the real you or what you're becoming, if you don't think you are pretty or smart or skinny or buff or any other form of a trait society tells us is needed to be normal, then your puzzle piece isn't complete. All of your hinges and curves aren't there to connect to another piece. To finish a puzzle, you need every piece to be there and every piece to be completely whole. You need to go step by step in connecting it which eventually forms into a masterpiece, God's masterpiece. You really need to take a step back and really view if this is the life you want. I do it everyday, I wouldn't write this if I didn't! But I honestly know what makes me happy, I just only hope helping the hurt, not worrying about the advantages it'll have on their lives or the disadvantages it'll have on mine is what's best, for everyone.

Loving compassionately

2008-12-03T21:28:40Z

Our need to be loved and accepted is stronger than our fear of being hurt. This explains the patterns you see beautiful women with caring hearts or vice-versa with the rare gentlemen we find, taking back the ones that hurt them the most. You would think they would learn and go on, but it's like they can't because we were programmed to have a need for people in our lives.

More damage has been done in the name of love than hate. If you hate me, I will never let you near me. I will put my walls up, and you will never be able to touch me. If you say you love me and I believe you, the walls come down and now you have the advantage in really hurting me. You have to balance your need to have people in your life with the need to keep yourself from being hurt. A solution to this problem is to not just give your heart away, make them earn it. A women's heart should be so lost in God that a man should have to go to him in order to find it.
Watch their character, watch how they treat others because it only symbolizes the way he or she shall treat you in their life. Be sure to not be a sucker for a kind word either. Really follow the saying "Actions speak louder than words."

If you want to prove that you love someone, sacrifice for them. Make them the priority. Don't gratify yourself with sex and call it love. Fight that need, fight your flesh and listen to your spirit. Love is tough. Love takes work. It is not an emotion, it is a choice. It means sacrifice for the other person's benefit because you find pleasure out of pleasing the one you love. You must be patient and not give up. Allow God to do wonders on his time, he knows when the timing's perfect. Even if you can't understand it, he knows, he always knows.

Surrounded by love

2008-12-01T22:35:54Z

I absolutely believe the key to success in life, is through the gift of laughter, happiness. I believe it is beyond important to surround yourself with people you love and love you back. You don't need the ones that are willing to put themselves first. The ones not having any intention on respecting you with the same courtesy you give towards them. Of course always love, love everything! But, balance out your affection and sense of character. Just be careful on who you give your heart out to. Never make someone your priority when all you are to them is an option. So I leave this message with a video to show an example of how I surround myself with great people, loved people. My sister has to be one of the best of friends I ever had and will be for the rest of my life. She will be a reason I can look back on and thanking for my success, my happiness.

Personal Poem to God

2008-11-30T19:39:52Z

From the highest galaxy,
to the depths of the ocean blue.

I feel contagious enough to,
step out and break through
this barrier of self denial.
This ego I allow to fall.

So I stand here wanting you all,
since the point of my entire being
revolves by the love you stained to my inner core.

I can't explain or attempt to define,
your beauty and grace.

Those desires every man pleases to fulfill.

My ideals to stand face to face
and look into those open windows,
that handsome face,
reflecting the rare characteristics I long to find in a loved one.

And even through the distance,
through the miles and miles
from north of pine,
to south of sunshine,
I plan on breaking the reaction.

I am on my way.

plane, car or train,
I will find my way close.

Oh how I know I am close,
can you hear me?
can you feel me?
because I am reaching out with every ounce of dignity
and courage my body can contain.

For I know the simple touch
and your sweetest taste is worth this on going chase.

Ebenezer Scrooge

2008-11-30T19:11:05Z

Last Night my mother took my sister's (Lauren, Natalie; Sophie), Lauren's boyfriend (Edward), Chino, Nancy, Aaron and I to see this remake of a christmas carol in Downtown Orlando. The theatre was obviously old and in need of some extreme home improvement. It's location was in the middle of no where, with added sound effects from the many police sirens going off outiside the theatre. The actors explained how 65% of the arts income has decreased due to the governor and his cut backs. They asked for donations and if we aswell are struggling financially, to then volunteer to help out sometimes instead. Even though they asked with a smile on their face, you could tell they were in desperate need for some compassion, some christmas spirit, some humanity. Even through the obvious debt and needs for better supplies, props, etc. They still put on a show with every ounce of passion and love they had in the gift of performing. They changed this old theatre's environment into a true show. The brought spirit, I admire that.

The show went on for about two full hours and even though the overall quality of the show was just decent, you left knowing what the message of that play was. You want to live out every second of everyday, not taking anything for granted. You never want to look at the negatives in things for it can start a chain reaction into something bad. You don't want to be a Scrooge. Even Scrooge eventually didn't want to be the old Scrooge. He wanted to make his heart warm again. He changed. It doesn't matter if he was guided by christmas past, present; future, HE STILL CHANGED!

He Still Learned right from wrong and allowed himself to fix his wrong doings, he never gave up.

I have come to the conclusion that even though I try to make everyday a good day and bring smiles upon unhappy faces, I still never do anything truly through my actions to bring Christmas Spirit alive the way it used to be. Maybe I should be donating my pay check I recieve every other Thursday to homeless shelters, maybe I should go through my old toys and donate them to Toys For Tots, maybe I should be one of those volunteers for the art programs, maybe I should be the change. We can go on and on about what we want different and how exactly this World should function, but it is not going to change if we don't actually do something about it.

I am in the process of reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and I came across this story he explains, him and his friend getting ready to protest against Bush and his action on putting the money towards Terrorism and not to other things America is in lack of. They held signs saying "Stop America's Terrorism" and held them high when Bush walked towards his limmo and drove away. He explains yes he thought it was wrong of the President to not listen to their concerns, but than again he said he felt as though he was a hypocrite while protesting. He wasn't going out of his way donating his money to churches or fundraisers or anything. "The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that has always been. I am the problem. The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest. I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM."

Imagine Everything

2008-11-29T17:58:55Z

Imagine everything at once. Imagine every speck, every pixel God created to complete this entire universe. Our life has so many details that combine as whole. It is impossible to even comprehend all of the parts physically and emotionally God created to only complete us! Just try and sit back, picture how God made everything for a reason. How God thought of something so minuscule as the idea of paper and pen. The convenience it gives man to spill out ideas and dreams. The gift it gives believers like myself to lay out my beliefs to educate and touch people's lives, to make a difference in the hurting all through one idea. Or as grand as the importance of the Earth's orbit around the Sun to give flesh a temperature it can survive under. Imagine just a simple tree. It is there for beauty yes, but everyday nature saves lives. it inhales carbon dioxide and exhales oxygen to allow us to take fresh breaths of organic air. That is not by coincidence, that is for a reason. Every day so peaceful, so simple and yet so interesting. God created it, he created it with a define purpose. I am a firm believer in Shel Silverstein's book, The Giving Tree. Everything has energy, everything has feelings. Trees were trained from seed - bloom, to live in complete harmony. It's ability to give human shade on a sunny day or a stump to sit on when tired was a gift of generosity given before birth. Even when they are returned nothing back, even when their brothers and sisters are being chopped down for a realist man's pleasure, they maintain flesh's comfort because they love you. They love everything. Imagine if man could live like that, love everything no matter what situation they were under. That is a challenge I'd like to see you face. Think of the gift of EMOTION. Imagine life with no feeling. You couldn't express anything. Creativity and individuality would not exist. We would all be the same. We would all be boring. We wouldn't be able to love or appreciate the people and things in our lives. We wouldn't be able to Celebrate. Could you imagine man without the gift of Celebration? people wouldn't be able to function properly because we wouldn't understand how to leave a trail over following in ones path.

Even when you may feel God is not there or listening to you. Even when you feel as though you are at the point where nothing is going right in your life, understand that it is there for a reason. God put it there for a reason. Maybe it's for another step to break through that barrier of complete denial, guilt or any of Satan's doings. Maybe it's so the youth, the students can learn not to follow in ones footsteps because of the outcome you set an example for, or perhaps you need to go through the bad to bring up the good. No one can ever explain why we were created and why bad things happen to good people We do not know, only Christ does. But, every day you must believe in every ounce of your heart, even when no one else does, that it is fora reason, you are for a reason.

My eighteenth birthday

2008-11-29T16:03:59Z

My 18th Birthday is on December 5th and it scares me to think that in only a week I will need to say goodbye to the past and hello to adulthood. Even though I will admit, I have to take on more responsibilities and mature in different ways I procrastinated in as a kid, I will never lose myself in all of it. I just watched a movie last night with my mother and 3 beautiful sisters called Happy-Go-Lucky and it was all about the positives in everything. The main character, Poppy was 30 and yet everyday acted far from austere or deliberate. She spent every moment blissful. Even when negative energy was around, she always had the joyous of all smiles on her face. She was my hero, because she was happy exactly the way she was. a 30 year old, single woman who was an art teacher for elementary students, who did not know how to drive, who took tango lessons because a friend didn't have anyone to go with, talked to homeless men under bridges for no particular reason, and most importantly put out compassionate love to the world even when no one returned it back to her. She was happy and independent and for my birthday, my first day as an adult, that is what I want to be. Poppy is the perfect example of how I am going to spend my adulthood, happy.